Dear Chief Secretary to the Treasury,
I'm afraid to tell you there's no money left.
Signed, Liam Byrne

(Outgoing Labour Chief Secretary to the Treasury. May 2010)

Monday, 26 April 2010

Reasons to be cheerful

Let's all celebrate those freedoms we have.

I still have the freedom to take a train anywhere in the UK without a government permit or the sanction of the US security agencies.

I still have the freedom to navigate my vessel in UK territorial waters without a government permit (though not beyond that limit any more).

I don't need the State's permission to have a barbecue in my garden or drink alcohol or smoke in my own home.

Intercourse remains unlicensed.

I am free to read most books that have been published, and to listen to foreign radio stations without the risk of my front door being smashed down, unless they're in Arabic.

I am free to possess tools in my own home, though I can't carry these in public without risk of arrest.

I am free to choose the decor of my own home but no longer free to add an electrical spur socket or light fitting without State permission.

I am free to use incandescent lamps, although their purchase is illegal.

I am free to associate in public with up to two friends without police consent in advance.

I am free to listen to people singing or playing musical instruments without State interference, so long as it's in the privacy of my own home or in theirs.

I'm free to visit my family as long as fully State licensed adults, parents or guardians are present if there are any children under 16 there.

I'm allowed to put State-approved specially purchased food out for the birds, but not food scraps or bread crumbs from my own kitchen.

And I can eat with complete freedom and without State licence any fruit or vegetables I grow myself, though not meat or fish.

And any food I buy rather than grow must be approved by the State in advance.
Quoted from Raedwald, his St George's Day message.


Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs Rigsby

"Intercourse remains unlicensed"

Is that sexual intercourse or just talking to people?

Or both?


Mrs Rigby said...

Haven't a clue - both?