Dear Chief Secretary to the Treasury,
I'm afraid to tell you there's no money left.
Signed, Liam Byrne

(Outgoing Labour Chief Secretary to the Treasury. May 2010)

Thursday, 1 April 2010

How to make up a Prime Minister.

How to make up a Prime Minister in four easy steps
1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over.
(This is believed to be an illuminating foam to give the PM's face that certain glow.)

2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in.
(This refers to the use of concealer to smooth out facial bumps and blemishes.)

3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up.
(All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid. This tells the PM to trowel foundation over his whole face.)

4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over.
(Slap on fake tan bronzer.)
No no, don't shake your heads in disbelief. This is real, even though today is April 1st.

A pile of documents was left in a taxi way back in May 2009. The taxi driver, naturally, passed the documents to the Sun, who wrote an article and then passed the file back to the Prime Minister, who persuaded a "No10 spokesman" to say:
"The bag was accidentally left by a junior member of staff. We thank The Sun for returning it. The PM, like everyone on TV, is required to wear make-up."
But is everybody who goes on TV expected to wear quite as much?

Found via Iain Dale


Witterings From Witney said...

Probably why, Mrs. R, that politicians policies always have a 'cosmetic' appearance?

Mrs Rigby said...

It could be.