Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Saturday, 10 July 2010
Standing room only?
Sometimes reporting errors can make you smile.
From this BBC report about a fire near Heathrow, where "50 firefighters are containing the scene". The report tells us that
That's about, oh, (5x3) +10% = 16ft 6 inches.
From this BBC report about a fire near Heathrow, where "50 firefighters are containing the scene". The report tells us that
Mrs Rigby thinks they must have been living in remarkably cramped conditions becauseMore than 200 people were evacuated from the area
Five metres?A five metre exclusion zone is in place
That's about, oh, (5x3) +10% = 16ft 6 inches.
....
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Military humour.
Stolen from Oh What NOW, who found it on Daily Politics
A U.S. army platoon was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi insurgent, badly injured and unconscious on the left-hand side of the road.
On the right-hand side was a British soldier in a similar, but less serious state. The Brit was conscious and alert. As first aid was given to both men, the American platoon leader asked the injured soldier what had happened.
The soldier reported: “I was recce-ing the highway here when suddenly, coming towards me from the south was a heavily-armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
“I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein had been a miserable, lowlife scumbag who’d got what he deserved. The insurgent yelled back that Gordon Brown is a fat, useless, lying, one-eyed porridge wog. And furthermore, Lord Mandelson is a pillow-biting gay bastard!
“So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and ponces about like a frigid, hatchet-faced lesbian.
He retaliated by saying that so does Harriet Harman.
“And, there we were – in the middle of the road – shaking hands, when the f*****g bus hit us.”
....
Labels:
funny
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
A handful of bananas. **
Bananas seem to manage to keep themselves in the news - so to be topical here are a few slip-ups, a couple of annoyances, and one or two smiles.
From English Fail Blog - Identification uncertain,
From Woosk - counting Fail.
From Fail Blog - misrepresentation.
From the BBC - EU fails to straighten bendy bananas.
From Youtube - A man called Ray Comfort explains evolution.
A Miliband moment.
"Joke" - Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
From the BBC - A £340 banana skin.
And finally, light relief from Harry Belafonte and the Muppets.
** Bananas, by the way, grow in clusters, with up to 20 fruit to a tier - called a hand.
.
From English Fail Blog - Identification uncertain,
From Woosk - counting Fail.
From Fail Blog - misrepresentation.
From the BBC - EU fails to straighten bendy bananas.
From Youtube - A man called Ray Comfort explains evolution.
A Miliband moment.
"Joke" - Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
From the BBC - A £340 banana skin.
And finally, light relief from Harry Belafonte and the Muppets.
** Bananas, by the way, grow in clusters, with up to 20 fruit to a tier - called a hand.
.
Monday, 8 February 2010
Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?
You can make statistics say whatever you want.
Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?
More like this at http://xkcd.com/
Oh, by the way, you can download Firefox here
.
Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?
More like this at http://xkcd.com/
Oh, by the way, you can download Firefox here
.
Labels:
funny,
statistics
Saturday, 23 January 2010
** Splutter! **
Shamelessly copied from here
!!! - Warning - don't be drinking coffee whilst reading. - !!!
Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend.
Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.
"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats."
"In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
"I ... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he...he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that..' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.
"That's preposterous," said one high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
.................................
Okay, so it isn't real, but I bet it made you do a bit more than smile. Original source is here
!!! - Warning - don't be drinking coffee whilst reading. - !!!
Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend.
Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.
"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats."
"In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
"I ... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he...he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that..' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.
"That's preposterous," said one high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
.................................
Okay, so it isn't real, but I bet it made you do a bit more than smile. Original source is here
Labels:
funny
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